Wednesday, May 2, 2012
God has been moving mountains in the past few months, all in preparation for, I believe, the news we got yesterday! I have been praying so hard that our home study would be approved and God would direct us to the son He has chosen for us. Yesterday, He did that!
In February we had a set back (that became a huge step UP if you understand how He works in His amazing timing) and were told that our home study could not be approved until we both underwent full psychiatric testing due to our backgrounds and histories. Ok, we can handle that – no biggie right? Yeah, not so much. Knowing what was in our history made the process very nerve-wracking. Neither of us had any idea what to expect and although I had seen counselors off and on my whole life, I never put much faith in their answers or recommendations. This time was very different. As our wonderful Christian psychiatrist explained, the tests were designed to find problems. Everyone who has ever taken these tests, could arguably have something wrong with them. She showed us the results while trying to reassure us that it wasn't to tear us down but to make us aware of things that we could improve upon to better ourselves and our marriage in the long run. Unfortunately, my husband and I both internalize criticism, no matter how constructive or how positively spun it is, and this knocked us both down a bit.
I was right in the middle of a bible study on soul restoration and healing any past hurts, etc that the evil one could use to keep me separated from God and His path for me. My husband was right in the middle of his school term and had no time to process what she said. In a classic example of our differing ways of dealing with things, he immediately called his Doctor and asked to be put on anti-anxiety medication. I went and poured my heart out to the ladies in my women's bible study and asked for prayer. We are both still working through our issues but boy is God using them! I have contacted an amazingly Godly woman who is very skilled at soul restoration and prayer and asked her to meet with me one on one to help me purge my issues once and for all. Nick is less anxious and stressed and has promised to meet with someone to talk through it when school is over. We have been forced to really talk about our problems, our fears, how we relate to each other, everything and our marriage is getting stronger because of it. Our faith is growing by leaps and bounds also!
Our home study was just approved by the state. We don't even have the paperwork back yet. A note went out through the portal system that Bethany uses to contact everyone that had a listing of new waiting children in China. Anyone who has had their home study approved can request a match to the children on the list. We can even request a match to more than 1 but they would only match us to 1. Nick and I took a look at the list separately. We looked up the medical histories, videos, and pictures of all the little boys that were in the age range we were hoping for. (Remember I had been praying for God to show us who He had chosen for us?) We found 2 that we felt a connection to and that we thought would be a good match for our family. Both of us chose the same 2!!! I put in our request and we truly thought that it was too soon. That there would be other families further along in the process who would be a better match for these boys. Remember, we were still waiting for the paperwork to come back from the state so we could pass it along to the federal level and get approved there. I knew it would be in God's timing and not ours anyways but it couldn't hurt to let them know we felt connected to these 2 little boys.
Not only did the China team prayerfully consider our request and those of all the other families that posted requests, but they decided early that we were a great match for 1 of the boys!!! We now have a name and a face to go with the little boy we have been praying for since last August. We now have a mad rush of paperwork, training, consultations with doctors, and through it all we really need to be on our knees in thankful prayer to an amazing God who is proving time and again that everything is in His hands and His timing! Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of paperwork and hoops we need to jump through to bring our son home, I need to remember to pray myself through it. God knows what he's doing! Can you pray for us also? There is such power in prayer and I know that the more friends and family we have praying for us, the easier this whole process will be to get through.
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8