Saturday, December 15, 2012

A Prayer in Response to the Newtown, CT Tragedy

This is so well written and speaks from a lot of our hearts I think.

A Prayer in Response to the Newtown, CT Tragedy

Rage Against the Minivan: five things to consider before talking to your kid...

Some great thoughts on yesterday's tragedy. I haven't spoken to my kids about it and this helped reassure me that I wasn't the only one. I will be e-mailing teachers though...

Rage Against the Minivan: five things to consider before talking to your kid...: I was absolutely devastated to turn on the news this morning and learn about the violent shooting at an elementary school. I was in a hotel ...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

Wow. I haven't written anything in months and truly haven't wanted to. So much has happened for us and this bible verse has been on constant "repeat" in my head. In October, we received official notice that the Country of China had rejected out application to adopt Timothy. It was/is heart-breaking. We love that little boy so much and now he would never come home to us or know that we have loved and prayed for him for months.

There was a lot of anger and frustration directed at the Chinese government and, if I am completely honest, probably at ourselves too. Our past was catching up to bite us in the behind in a big way. When you are 18, you never think that your actions will have consequences nearly 20 years later but they really do. I have no regrets as every experience in my life has shaped who I am and brought me to this point in time but sometimes that's hard to remember. I also firmly believe that God forgives all and by being princes and princesses in His kingdom, we are all renewed every day through Him. It was very hard to reconcile that picture of forgiveness with a bureaucrat in China deciding that we weren't good enough to adopt a 6 year old boy who was abandoned on the door step of a police department because he wasn't perfect. Writing it down, I guess there is still some frustration there but I'm getting there.

We have spent this latest time in mourning. My kids needed to be told that their brother wasn't able to come home to us and reassured that God had something bigger planned for him and for us. There were a lot of tears and we still talk about how sad we get sometimes. Michael was saving his clothes etc for when his brother came home and he stumbles a bit now when he asks if he should keep saving them. They will no longer be for Timothy but for another little boy we haven't seen or been led to yet. That is a little to vague for our kids to wrap their minds around right now.

We spent last night starting to look forward to that future. We are taking steps to adopt from Hong Kong and we'll see what little boy God has in store for us. In the meantime, Timothy has been re-posted onto the portal and we are praying for him to find his forever family. I asked that they let me know when he's matched. I want the reassurance that he has a family. Nick doesn't want to know. In his mind, God already has his family chosen and has placed him with them. If that never happens, he doesn't want to know.

We continue to pray for healing and for a chance to fall in love with another little boy. We don't know who he is yet but he's out there waiting and so are we.